The Myth of Constant Happiness

For a long time, I believed happiness was the ultimate goal.

Every self-help book, every Instagram post, every piece of well-meaning advice seemed to reinforce the idea that we should be striving for an uninterrupted state of joy.

So I chased it.

I tried to maintain a constant sense of happiness, as if it were something I could lock into place with enough effort.

But then life did what it always does - it reminded me that emotions don’t work that way.

One particular week at work stands out - one of those slow, draining weeks where everything felt like a chore.

I found myself frustrated, not just with the work itself but with my own emotions.

Why wasn’t I happy? Why couldn’t I just “think positive” and push through? The harder I tried to force happiness, the more distant it felt.

That’s when I realized: the belief that we should be happy all the time is not only unrealistic, but it actually makes us feel worse when we’re not.

Perpetual Happiness - An Illusion

Social media has done a great job of feeding us this expectation.

We see endless highlight reels - big achievements, exotic vacations, happy couples.

The struggles, the quiet moments of doubt, the days where nothing seems to go right? Those rarely make the cut.

It creates the illusion that happiness is the default state, and anything else is a problem to be fixed.

But in reality, life isn’t a straight line of joy - it’s a full, unpredictable experience of highs, lows, and everything in between.

When we buy into the myth that happiness should be constant, we end up rejecting perfectly normal human emotions like frustration, sadness, or boredom.

We start seeing them as failures rather than part of the process.

Struggle in Growth

That week at work taught me something unexpected: my frustration wasn’t an obstacle to avoid - it was information.

It was telling me something about my work, my mindset, and what I needed to change.

Whether they come from a tough day at work, the loss of a friendship, or just feeling stuck - tough emotions aren’t just inconveniences. They serve a purpose. They push us to reflect, adapt, and grow.

The most resilient people aren’t the ones who are happy all the time. They’re the ones who embrace the full spectrum of emotions and use them to navigate life more effectively.

Short-Term Happiness vs. Long-Term Fulfillment

It’s easy to chase short-term happiness - the quick dopamine hits from social media, a purchase we don’t really need, another episode of a show we don’t even like that much. These things give us momentary pleasure, but they don’t lead to real fulfillment.

True fulfillment comes from something deeper: meaningful work, strong relationships, personal growth. And often, those things require us to sit with discomfort, face challenges, and work through emotions rather than running from them.

Embracing the Full Experience

So where does that leave us? If happiness isn’t a constant state, what should we be aiming for?

I often end up coming back to the word “balance”.

Learning to appreciate the highs without fearing the lows, seeing meaning in all emotions, and accepting that life is not just about happiness but about wholeness.

The myth of constant happiness is just that - a myth.

Instead of trying to force it, we can learn to embrace all emotions as part of the journey. Because in the end, a life spent chasing happiness will always feel incomplete. A life spent experiencing everything?

That’s where true fulfillment begins.